200 mm of Healing

7:00pm May 30th

I'm in and out consciousness not remembering where I am. I can open my eyes a bit to see Lamar in the corner of my room looking exhausted, but knowing that he has not left me and he wouldn't be anywhere else.  I can hear the soft whispers of Katie's voice talking to my mom. I see the tall shadow of my sweet Uncle Jack hovering over me. I can smell the hospital and slowly remember where I am and what has happened.

I mumbled out of my mouth the question of how many stitches I had? Lamar replied that I was stitched up in layers and then the top of my incision was glued. In the glamorous brainy anesthetic state I was in, I asked him how many glues do I have? Seems legitimate, right?! Why was I so concerned about something so superficial? It's just a scar.  I don't care about the scar, physically anyway, but emotionally I do. It's now a part of me. My scar is about 7 1/2 inches, but every inch of it is healing!

 

The clock for me has stopped but for my crowd of supporters in the waiting rooms, the sun has now set and the evening of May 30th is passing away, never to return again.

The sweet nurse is trying to wake me, but her efforts are useless. My eyes shut once again and I've drifted back to dreaming.

 

Earlier in the day.........................

12:00 Noon 

Lamar walked a long side me as they wheeled me in a chair to radiology. He quietly came in the room behind me and we both settled in. My procedure was to have 6 injections in my stomach around the cancer site and then the dye was going to trace the lymphatic system to find my sentinal nodes. This is to find the nodes so the surgeon can take them out and biopsy them to see if the cancer has spread.

The tech, John, in radiology was so sweet and he explained everything to us step by step.  The radiologist came in, we talked a bit and she started the injections. They were shots that went under the skin and contained a small amount of radio active dye that would be useful for the surgery.   I was actually calm and relaxed and I could feel all of my nervousness and anxiety slipping away.  I recited Psalm 91:2 "My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." and Philippians 4:7 " And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

2:45pm

Back in my room my surgeon comes in to break the news that I had presented something much different then they had anticipated. (insert laughter) My mom's appendix was on the wrong side of her body, so, I think normal flew out the window a long time ago. My lymphatic system was not draining in my groin or in my arm pits, like normal, they were draining somewhere under my right breast and therefore he had no idea where to locate the sentinel node at this point. He could cut an incision but would be digging around not sure of the exact location. I was good with him not doing that! The wide excision to remove the cancer would be able to be done at this time but the lymph node biopsy could not be risked right now and would have to be another, separate surgery. I did not want to hear this at all, but had to realize that it was the best option and understood. 

He also explained that this did not mean in any way that the cancer has spread, it just means that my lymphatic system is different and other procedures need to be done in order to move forward correctly.

3:40pm

I meet my anesthesiologist, who explained everything very thoroughly  the nurse that will be assisting in the OR and we are ready to go 

I'm rolled into surgery and

With great success the surgeon was able to do my wide excision and my 7 inch scar which I now wear, represents healing. The tumor was removed and once again we wait.

We wait for Friday, June 13th for my next surgery.

The Sentinel Node Biopsy