You can call me......NED

The day before I have an appointment with any one of my doctors (still sporting 6), my mood is not so great. I try very hard to not worry and it has gotten somewhat easier, but the members of my household probably wouldn't agree. Sorry guys & gals, I really do try! I spent almost all of last Wednesday morning trying to stay focused on getting the house tidied up but instead I drank coffee and watched an episode of chopped......Nothing much got accomplished.
Thursday, I wake up and its a very cold morning. Its 25 below zero. Due to my laziness, I am running late and flying in the truck through the back roads to get there on time.
The office is quiet this morning. There is a familiar face who I know is there for Chemo. The nurse, Charlene, took me back right away. She is so sweet. I have known her and her family since I was a little girl. Her and her sister would always let me play with their barbies when we would go over to their house.  Her dad, Mike, passed away from cancer about 2 years ago. Funny, thinking that when I was little that one day, she would be my nurse, assisting me in my journey through cancer and that her sweet dad would lose his life to it.   
drip. drip. drip. The faucet is leaking. I am all alone in this empty room. I should get up from the exam table and shut it off but I don't move. I am fixated on wondering what is going on outside the window. I can hear Dr. C's voice in the hallway, beyond my closed door. His Grecian accent and kind face usually calm me down. I hear something fall in the hallway and I am jolted back into reality. I turn off the faucet and the drip stops. I am ready Dr. C, where are you?
My blood levels have been all over the place for the past 10 months. My poor body has been through the ringer and I am usually facing fatigue, colds, swollen lymph nodes and much more. The focus of a pet scan has been on the table for the last few months.
PETSCAN: A positron emission tomography (PET) scan is an imaging test that uses a radioactive substance called a tracer to look for disease in the body. A PET scan shows how organs and tissues are working. (from Mayoclinic)

The idea of a petscan is very frightening and calming to me. There is a point in this journey when you just want to know if the disease has spread to any organs.
Dr. C came in and was as calming as always. He was excited because my blood levels were in the "normal range". Wait.....what? did you say, normal?? He smiled and said lets feel the lymph nodes. The exam was quick and he remained eerily quiet. His response though, was simple. I am very sure that you have no current evidence of cancer! Poor Dr. C.....I burst into tears. It was this huge, joyful moment that at this moment, I am ok. Life can move forward, & I can feel alive once again.
My journey isn't finished but the outcome is so much more brighter than it has been. I still go back to the dermatologist every 3 months and see Dr. C, my oncologist, every 6 months, but of the freedom that I now feel. I am a NED. NED is the term that simply means, No evidence of disease....

No mountain, no valley
No gain or loss we know
Could keep us from Your love

No sickness, no secret
No chain is strong enough
To keep us from Your love
To keep us from Your love

How high? How wide?
No matter where I am
Healing is in Your hands

How deep? How strong?
Now by Your grace I stand
Healing is in Your hands

Our present, our future
Our past is in Your hands
We're covered by Your blood
We're covered by Your blood

How high? How wide?
No matter where I am
Healing is in Your hands

                                       Christy Nockels - Healing Is In Your Hands Lyrics |