Be Thou my vision while I continue to fight on this earth
Saturday night the 13th brought so many tears.
Lamar and I were home and the world kept spinning....People were still getting groceries, mail was being delivered and traffic was still backed up.
How could anything still be happening when you are laying in hospital bed in Iowa City, in so much pain and not knowing what is going on? The surgeon had to leave your chest open because of the amount of swelling and I am concerned with infection. I am praying so hard that you remain ok.
God has you in his hands. It is so obvious.
Vicki still remains so very strong and she is so faithful with staying with you. She has not left your side and I am sure that she has no plans to yet.
Sunday, the 14th Lamar, Katie & I slowly and begrudgingly walked into church so desperately wanting to be with you instead of there. But it was the best choice though, to be in God's house while we continue to ask him for a miracle. I so very much love to look back and see how God so obviously moved and his intentionality in every little detail. Vicki called me around 7am and you were scheduled for surgery around the early afternoon. The surgery was miraculously moved up and while the pastors were in their prayer time before service, you were taken into surgery.
I paced in the cafe constantly praying, not able to focus on anything but the utter cries pouring from my soul.
I answered the call from Vicki during the 11:00 worship time and I was able to share with pastor Rob who told the congregation that there were NO more signs of internal bleeding, everything had stayed put from where they had moved it back, you had NO signs of infection and they were able to close up your chest. My sweet Jesus, my soul rejoiced and the peace that God gave me and others was so overwhelming. You rested well the rest of the day, in and out of it conscienceness because of the sedation from surgery.
September 14th email I sent out to the staff at Harvest:
These are the days when God's grace is so evident. I warned his ICU nurse, Tyesha, that once they remove the ventilator that she may feel the urge to stuff it back in you! She found out very quickly that I was NOT exaggerating. Bob is speaking again and thanks to the high amounts of pain meds, it is beyond entertaining.
All joking aside, he is once again fighting a high fever, and high blood pressure. He has some confusion but that could be the high temp and the pain meds.
It has been a roller coaster day for him and Vicki both. She found out tonight that she can stay at the Rossi house for his entire hospital stay. The initial thought that was she had to leave the house once he left ICU. She can now continue to remain just a short walk away from him and stay in the Rossi house.
He is again very agitated so tonight please pray for his peace. We have no idea what he is thinking but it must be so hard to try and take all of this in.
Monday was another rough day for you! You got pneumonia and continued to be in a large amount of pain. They really want to be able to do surgery on your other broken bones, but your blood pressure and high temperature continue to remain way to high for it to be safe. I stand there and continue to watch you breathing in and out and know that you are struggling so very much. Bob, I am so sorry that you are facing this. I know that God is sovereign and you are completely his!
"Jesus said to him, get up, take your bed and walk, and at once the man was healed, and he took up his bed and walked." John 5:8-9
Vicki met Monday night with the orthopedic that will be handling you from now on. Wow, can you believe that your pelvis on the left side is broken in about 100 pieces? The doctor said that you will not be able to put any weight on it for the next 2 months, but there is no reason why it will not heal, and you will eventually walk again. They may be able to do a complete hip replacement as well in 9 months or so! We are all so very excited for this news.
September 16th
I just got back from Iowa City with Liz in tow and we had some sweet time with Vicki and Mark (your great brother-in-law). Mark was on vacation this week and so it worked out he could help out a lot as well. Liz and I stopped at scratch cupcakes to bring some yummy treats up. Mostly because if you were awake enough, I was going to stand in your room and eat it in front of you. Do you remember every cancer surgery I had and when I would wake up from the anesthetic, you would be standing over me eating cookies or ice cream???
I went back to see you and you were resting so peaceful. More peaceful than I have seen you yet. It was a huge relief to my soul. When you were awake, you are in high amounts of unbearable pain. Your pneumonia is there in full force but thank God you are breathing better with the help from a breathing mask that they have in place.
Your blood pressure is much better with the breathing mask on but you continue to fight your fever. Right now, my prayers are that your blood pressure continues to remain stable, your fever breaks, your pneumonia clears up quickly and that you start to see some clarity. I know that you are confused with what is going on, but know that we are making sure that you get the best care and that we will fight for you as long as you cannot.
The days continued to pass and you made progress every day. It was amazing to me how fast you were coming along with everything that you had gone through. I know it was such a struggle for you to be in that bed day after day. You would never come out and ask me but I could see it in your face the thing that always lingered, the elephant in the room per say. Am I going to walk again?
You started asking every nurse and doctor that came through the doors if you were going to walk again. Nobody ever knew what to say to you....you were helpless and the compassion far outweighed the words that we could ever say to you, "Bob, we don't know if you will walk again........".
I was in a meeting at work and my phone rang, it was Vicki and before she spoke, I could feel her grief. She spoke slowly and as her words came out of her mouth, her heart broke. The doctor had come in and said the phrase that she had never wanted to hear, the doctor said that unless a miracle happened, you would never walk again.
My silent tears streamed down my face as I couldn't bear the pain of you having to deal with that for the rest of your life. I slowly walked the staircase to Pastor Rob's office and with every step I took, my silent tears turned to sobs. My heart was breaking. Pastor Rob gathered us all in the lower offices to pray over you....there were lots of tears shed for you.
Every hour seemed like something new was happening and Vicki continued to struggle through her emotional roller coaster.
Saturday, September 19th they wanted to move you from the ICU to a step down unit. You were stable but still needing 24 hour care and suffering from so may different things. Vicki was so very concerned that you were not ready.
Grady, Liz, Meri, Katie, Lamar, Dave, Jess & I gathered together in the ICU waiting room and prayed for God's guidance in this situation and that God's hand would move greatly with what needed to happen. They ended up keeping you in the ICU still on Saturday but then on Sunday, they moved you to the step down unit, which was the 8th floor of the hospital. It was the burn unit and you would still get 24 hour care. At this point in time, you were still so out of it. You would say the funniest things but in all reality, you were angry, scared and still so unsure of everything that was happening. You didn't speak too much.
I always imagine what it was like to be an Israelite, standing there scared and feeling trapped because the Red Sea stands in front of you and the Egyptians are close behind you. I would see no end in site, but then God grants Moses the power to raise his staff and part the Red Sea. The Israelites cross safely and then the sea is flushed back and the Egyptians are killed. God's miracles are amazing and Bob, you were no different.
I woke up Monday morning the 21st, so excited to get up to the hospital to see you & Vicki.
It was Vicki's 50th birthday and I was getting to spend the day with you both celebrating.
I parked in the garage in my usual spot and grabbed my bags. I headed to the 8th floor and had to wait for them to buzz me in the secure unit. Vicki met me smiling bigger then I had seen her since this began.
She said through tears, "Heather, you have to see it to believe it".
I walked into your room and you were sitting up in your bed. You looked right at me, smiled that big smile and said "it's about time you get up here to see me. Where is my buddy Lamar and my Katie girl?"
I am not sure how long I cried before you told me to knock it off :) but with my own eyes, I saw God part the Red Sea, Raise Lazarus from the dead, heal the leper and more. At that moment, My faith was my site! Vicki's 50th birthday was a gift. You were back to your normal self and it was everything that everyone had prayed for. You were Bob-O once again. The sassiness was there with me. The physical therapy guys came in and you told them that I was your sister but not really but if you had one you would want it to be me. You told them Vicki's birthday, your anniversary, how long you had worked at Harvest, the address to the church, your birthdate and so much more.
God had switched your light on after moving you from ICU to the step down unit over night.
Thank you for that day. I know it was Vick's birthday, but thank you for letting me sit next to you and eat cake with you and her, for calling me your sister, for letting me get drinks for you, for listening to me when I told you to strain up and be nicer to Vicki who had not left your side, for being very honest and having no filter when Pastor Rob was there about many things! I get to share that great memory with Vicki and hold on to it forever!
Tuesday, the 22nd was a strange day. You were scheduled for surgery around noon that day but you got pushed out for someone else that was critical and you didn't have your surgery
I sent out this email on September 23rd, Wednesday after I had come back from Iowa City.
I am thankful that we do not know the future.......What was about to happen was something that was going to change your life and everyone else's life, forever!
Lamar and I were home and the world kept spinning....People were still getting groceries, mail was being delivered and traffic was still backed up.
How could anything still be happening when you are laying in hospital bed in Iowa City, in so much pain and not knowing what is going on? The surgeon had to leave your chest open because of the amount of swelling and I am concerned with infection. I am praying so hard that you remain ok.
God has you in his hands. It is so obvious.
Vicki still remains so very strong and she is so faithful with staying with you. She has not left your side and I am sure that she has no plans to yet.
Sunday, the 14th Lamar, Katie & I slowly and begrudgingly walked into church so desperately wanting to be with you instead of there. But it was the best choice though, to be in God's house while we continue to ask him for a miracle. I so very much love to look back and see how God so obviously moved and his intentionality in every little detail. Vicki called me around 7am and you were scheduled for surgery around the early afternoon. The surgery was miraculously moved up and while the pastors were in their prayer time before service, you were taken into surgery.
I paced in the cafe constantly praying, not able to focus on anything but the utter cries pouring from my soul.
I answered the call from Vicki during the 11:00 worship time and I was able to share with pastor Rob who told the congregation that there were NO more signs of internal bleeding, everything had stayed put from where they had moved it back, you had NO signs of infection and they were able to close up your chest. My sweet Jesus, my soul rejoiced and the peace that God gave me and others was so overwhelming. You rested well the rest of the day, in and out of it conscienceness because of the sedation from surgery.
September 14th email I sent out to the staff at Harvest:
These are the days when God's grace is so evident. I warned his ICU nurse, Tyesha, that once they remove the ventilator that she may feel the urge to stuff it back in you! She found out very quickly that I was NOT exaggerating. Bob is speaking again and thanks to the high amounts of pain meds, it is beyond entertaining.
All joking aside, he is once again fighting a high fever, and high blood pressure. He has some confusion but that could be the high temp and the pain meds.
It has been a roller coaster day for him and Vicki both. She found out tonight that she can stay at the Rossi house for his entire hospital stay. The initial thought that was she had to leave the house once he left ICU. She can now continue to remain just a short walk away from him and stay in the Rossi house.
He is again very agitated so tonight please pray for his peace. We have no idea what he is thinking but it must be so hard to try and take all of this in.
Monday was another rough day for you! You got pneumonia and continued to be in a large amount of pain. They really want to be able to do surgery on your other broken bones, but your blood pressure and high temperature continue to remain way to high for it to be safe. I stand there and continue to watch you breathing in and out and know that you are struggling so very much. Bob, I am so sorry that you are facing this. I know that God is sovereign and you are completely his!
"Jesus said to him, get up, take your bed and walk, and at once the man was healed, and he took up his bed and walked." John 5:8-9
Vicki met Monday night with the orthopedic that will be handling you from now on. Wow, can you believe that your pelvis on the left side is broken in about 100 pieces? The doctor said that you will not be able to put any weight on it for the next 2 months, but there is no reason why it will not heal, and you will eventually walk again. They may be able to do a complete hip replacement as well in 9 months or so! We are all so very excited for this news.
September 16th
I just got back from Iowa City with Liz in tow and we had some sweet time with Vicki and Mark (your great brother-in-law). Mark was on vacation this week and so it worked out he could help out a lot as well. Liz and I stopped at scratch cupcakes to bring some yummy treats up. Mostly because if you were awake enough, I was going to stand in your room and eat it in front of you. Do you remember every cancer surgery I had and when I would wake up from the anesthetic, you would be standing over me eating cookies or ice cream???
I went back to see you and you were resting so peaceful. More peaceful than I have seen you yet. It was a huge relief to my soul. When you were awake, you are in high amounts of unbearable pain. Your pneumonia is there in full force but thank God you are breathing better with the help from a breathing mask that they have in place.
Your blood pressure is much better with the breathing mask on but you continue to fight your fever. Right now, my prayers are that your blood pressure continues to remain stable, your fever breaks, your pneumonia clears up quickly and that you start to see some clarity. I know that you are confused with what is going on, but know that we are making sure that you get the best care and that we will fight for you as long as you cannot.
The days continued to pass and you made progress every day. It was amazing to me how fast you were coming along with everything that you had gone through. I know it was such a struggle for you to be in that bed day after day. You would never come out and ask me but I could see it in your face the thing that always lingered, the elephant in the room per say. Am I going to walk again?
You started asking every nurse and doctor that came through the doors if you were going to walk again. Nobody ever knew what to say to you....you were helpless and the compassion far outweighed the words that we could ever say to you, "Bob, we don't know if you will walk again........".
I was in a meeting at work and my phone rang, it was Vicki and before she spoke, I could feel her grief. She spoke slowly and as her words came out of her mouth, her heart broke. The doctor had come in and said the phrase that she had never wanted to hear, the doctor said that unless a miracle happened, you would never walk again.
My silent tears streamed down my face as I couldn't bear the pain of you having to deal with that for the rest of your life. I slowly walked the staircase to Pastor Rob's office and with every step I took, my silent tears turned to sobs. My heart was breaking. Pastor Rob gathered us all in the lower offices to pray over you....there were lots of tears shed for you.
Every hour seemed like something new was happening and Vicki continued to struggle through her emotional roller coaster.
Saturday, September 19th they wanted to move you from the ICU to a step down unit. You were stable but still needing 24 hour care and suffering from so may different things. Vicki was so very concerned that you were not ready.
Grady, Liz, Meri, Katie, Lamar, Dave, Jess & I gathered together in the ICU waiting room and prayed for God's guidance in this situation and that God's hand would move greatly with what needed to happen. They ended up keeping you in the ICU still on Saturday but then on Sunday, they moved you to the step down unit, which was the 8th floor of the hospital. It was the burn unit and you would still get 24 hour care. At this point in time, you were still so out of it. You would say the funniest things but in all reality, you were angry, scared and still so unsure of everything that was happening. You didn't speak too much.
I always imagine what it was like to be an Israelite, standing there scared and feeling trapped because the Red Sea stands in front of you and the Egyptians are close behind you. I would see no end in site, but then God grants Moses the power to raise his staff and part the Red Sea. The Israelites cross safely and then the sea is flushed back and the Egyptians are killed. God's miracles are amazing and Bob, you were no different.
I woke up Monday morning the 21st, so excited to get up to the hospital to see you & Vicki.
It was Vicki's 50th birthday and I was getting to spend the day with you both celebrating.
I parked in the garage in my usual spot and grabbed my bags. I headed to the 8th floor and had to wait for them to buzz me in the secure unit. Vicki met me smiling bigger then I had seen her since this began.
She said through tears, "Heather, you have to see it to believe it".
I walked into your room and you were sitting up in your bed. You looked right at me, smiled that big smile and said "it's about time you get up here to see me. Where is my buddy Lamar and my Katie girl?"
I am not sure how long I cried before you told me to knock it off :) but with my own eyes, I saw God part the Red Sea, Raise Lazarus from the dead, heal the leper and more. At that moment, My faith was my site! Vicki's 50th birthday was a gift. You were back to your normal self and it was everything that everyone had prayed for. You were Bob-O once again. The sassiness was there with me. The physical therapy guys came in and you told them that I was your sister but not really but if you had one you would want it to be me. You told them Vicki's birthday, your anniversary, how long you had worked at Harvest, the address to the church, your birthdate and so much more.
God had switched your light on after moving you from ICU to the step down unit over night.
Thank you for that day. I know it was Vick's birthday, but thank you for letting me sit next to you and eat cake with you and her, for calling me your sister, for letting me get drinks for you, for listening to me when I told you to strain up and be nicer to Vicki who had not left your side, for being very honest and having no filter when Pastor Rob was there about many things! I get to share that great memory with Vicki and hold on to it forever!
Tuesday, the 22nd was a strange day. You were scheduled for surgery around noon that day but you got pushed out for someone else that was critical and you didn't have your surgery
I sent out this email on September 23rd, Wednesday after I had come back from Iowa City.
This continues to be a roller coaster ride for Bob & Vicki, but they are holding on with everything they have.
1. With the help of 3 PT guys, Bob was moved from his bed, stand with his weight on his right leg and move into the recliner chair and able to recline in the chair for a minute. It took everything out of him, but praise God, he did it
2. He is really processing everything well today
3. If these 3 things happen, he will be moved to Genesis West rehab very soon for the remainder of his recovery: the team of doctors have to all agree on the move, he can get off of the IV pain meds and go to oral meds, and a bed opens up at Genesis
4. He tried to order a shake for himself and his good friend Grady who is there with him! He was quite angry at the nurse that Grady could not have a shake as well!!
So much continues to happen and we are so thankful to God’s mercies that are new each and every day.
I am thankful that we do not know the future.......What was about to happen was something that was going to change your life and everyone else's life, forever!
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