The House that built me

Where do you call home? That answer has been defined for us as a family over the past few months. We have learned the hard way that our home is where we are as a family, not a building made of concrete, studs and sheet rock.
I have always thought that our home was at 3021 Davenport Avenue but I was wrong. It was just simply the house that built me!

Lamar and I were young when we got married in 2002 and decided to throw it all in and move 13 hours north to the cornfields of Iowa. We had been married just 3 months before we drove up here from Shreveport that Easter and stayed with my grandma & grandpa. We both knew it was a direction that God had planned for us and Lamar applied for a job and got it right away. We went back to LA, packed up our house and made the long journey with our 4 year old, 2 golden retrievers and a u-haul full of furniture.
Lamar had bought the house without me seeing it but I trusted his judgment and knew I would love it. Ha, I didn't.  It started with the kitchen which was pure white. White ceramic tiled floor, cabinets, and walls. The basement was not finished, there was no fenced in back yard and the closet was so small in our bedroom that I am fairly certain I made it real clear to him upfront that I would not be sharing the space!

That was me in my 20's when I could only see the cosmetic things of this house.
Lamar however, he saw the potential in this house that I never could. I am very thankful that he did because what was so white and unfinished, turned into us painting the paneling in the dining room and it becoming my favorite space in my house, it was in 2009 doing a complete remodel of the kitchen and turning it in to a room in an Italian Villa, the basement getting finished and adding a sports bar, family room and Katie's toy room. The backyard getting the picket fence that I always wanted with a swimming pool and a back yard that was a safe place for Katie, Meredith and the dogs to play. It was Katie and Meredith building snow Forts in the front yard during winter and Katie sledding down Ramona's hill in her little red saucer.  It was Katie teaching Maggie color guard moves in the front yard. It was bringing Jameson home for the first time July 18th 2012 and adjusting to being parents to a 5 year old again.  It was hosting Christmas Eve for the Elmore family for Christmas of 2005 and on, after my grandma Elmore passed away and we could not celebrate at her house anymore. It was Katie learning to ride her bike in the front.
It was celebrating and parties with all of our family & friends

It was Lamar planting our garden every year and watching patiently as the tomatoes came up and eating them on sandwiches all summer long. It was birthday parties, school parties, family events, anniversaries, our annual New Years & Super Bowl parties,  and 4th of July fireworks in the street. It was Katie playing the piano from 2nd grade and her becoming a beautiful pianist that can play music to soothe my soul.
It was seeing Steph pregnant and then getting to watch Mason grow for the first 4 years of his life.  It was having Mary be just a phone call away and have her come help me with anything and everything. I even called her when my washer caught on fire.
It was being able to take care of Laura Gould when she had her stage 4 breast and bone cancer and I could walk across the street and be with here anytime day or night until she passed away on August 29, 2010.
It was Becca and Katie breaking her bedroom window.
It was Katie writing her name in the freshly poured concrete that became our back patio where we spent many nights.
It was waking up in the middle of the night and finding girls dressed in black having marshmallow wars.
It was me laying in the bathroom floor in pain with my gallbladder, and walking the floors with every kidney stone.
It was me living in the recliner after all of my cancer surgeries. It was me being in the office taking the phone call on May 6 2014 from my doctor saying "Heather you have cancer".
It was painting Katie's bedroom over and over again until it stayed Pink for the last few years.
It was countless meals at the dining room table.
It was standing in the kitchen in 2009 hearing that Jessica Ann had been in a car accident and didn't make it and have your heart break at the loss of your child.
It was the countless visits from Dion, Ann, Sarah, Rachel, Hannah and Caleb and staying up till all hours playing games and laughing till we cried.
It was Sarah doing charades in the dining room at 2am, and living in our basement for months after her and Nathan got married and he had to go to Japan first.
It was Hannah making visits from school.
It was bringing Maggie in the house for the first time and falling head over heals for her and me becoming her GaGa.
It was every day rocking Alex to sleep in the rocking chair that my dad bought from JcPenney the day that I was born and becoming his GaGa.
It was Lamar hanging up the Christmas lights when it was 30 degrees outside. It was Lamar building every addition we made in and outside of the house.  It was baking with KD and teaching her what I love. It was the countless football and baseball games on the big screen in the family room. It was Mer and Kate burying a time capsule in 2004 and digging it up in 2016.
It was every sleep over from kindergarten on with Natalie as a 5 year old and then Nat standing in our kitchen as a women, pregnant and ready to have a baby of her own.
It was tears rolling down my eyes as Lamar took Nikki to the Vet for the last time and then 7 years later, saying good-bye to Sadie.
It was watching Meredith and Katie get their driver's license, and being so happy that they drove better cars then they did barbie battery operated jeeps!
It was 6 years of walking to and from Garfield. It was the last 4 years of grandma (my mom) walking from Garfield to see Maggie & Alex everyday.
It was walking the floor when Jake would be upset, changing his diapers, loving on him and playing with him after Erin went back to work.  
It was Katie coming home from her first day of kindergarten in 2003 and then Katie standing in the front yard dressed in her cap and gown graduating from High School in 2016.
It became everything we wanted for our house and we called it home.
It was the safe haven for all 3 of us.
Tonight, as I type this, I am in the dining room and looking at boxes stacked to the ceiling, my buffet and china hutch are empty of its china and fiestaware. Everything that we have brought into this house in the last 14 years is packed and ready to go. Tomorrow we are leaving the house that built me.
But why? This is not our choice.
I am not going to go into a long detail about how we got to this point but I am going to explain in a nutshell per say. In 2013 we had a sewer lien put on our property that we were not made aware of. It sat at the Scott County Treasures office collecting interest. This last June of 2016 it was sold at a county auction for a mere 2500.00 and the investment company that bought it, was able to purchase the deed to the property. We hired an attorney and tried to fight to stay in our house but were unable too and therefore we had to walk away from the fight and lose the house.
Monday, September 5th 2016 will be the last day that the Otwell family calls 3021 Davenport Avenue home. This is what we leave:

I know they say you cant go home again. I just had to come back one last time.
Ma'am I know you don't know me from Adam. But these handprints on the front steps are mine. And up those stairs, in that little back bedroom is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar. And I bet you didn't know under that live oak my favorite dog is buried in the yard.

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else, I thought that maybe I could find myself
if I could just come in I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.

Lyrics from Miranda Lambert and her song "The house that built me." 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQYNM6SjD_o       Click the link for the video