Too late to save me.......
Since 1949, Mental health America has led the fight in this country to make every one who will listen, aware of the facts facing us that 18.29% of Americans suffer from sort of mental illness. This equals to 43.7 million Americans. (mentalhealthamerica.net)
In honor of this month, I want to touch on one aspect that is associated closely with mental health and that is suicide. I have documented all of the facts as best as I could. I ask if you read this and know someone who is suffering from mental illness and dealing with suicide, please reach out to them. Do not think that someone else is! You could be their lifeline.
Unfortunately, the following story is true. I have left the name out to protect the family.
The summer between my 8th and 9th grade years of school, there was a body found floating in the Mississippi river. It was a boy, and he was my age. He had jumped into the river to end his life.
Why would someone so young who has their whole life ahead of them, ever want to make that decision of finality?
This was big news. The Quad City times ran the article in the paper, front page. The black & white photo was so clear; police cars, ambulance, coroner, and the black bag on the shore, holding the lifeless body of this kid.
I knew him. He sat by me in my history class at Glenview junior high.
I cried. I couldn't help but be sad for this boy.
This heart that once was alive, would never beat again.
Today, suicides are so common in our culture that they no longer make the front page of the paper. They no longer consider it to be news when people take their own lives.
Why is this not news worthy? It is happening everyday.
Please do not lead me to believe that this news is not important or that their lives are not a story.
It should be a story when on average there are 123 suicides per day (afsp.org). The top 3 states in the U.S. for suicide are: Montana, Alaska and Wyoming.
The numbers, as sadly accurate as they are, come with so much more than them becoming another "statistic". It is everything else that is left behind.
So who are the statistics? The percentages......the faces?
It is the young marine who came back from war. He was right out of high school when he enlisted and was thrown right into active duty. He was sent to war before his 19th birthday and saw things that he never could have imagined and would never be able to move past the nightmares and terror. He takes his gun in his hand and does not think twice when he pulls the trigger.
It is the middle aged mom who wakes up every morning, wondering if this is all there is. Is this as good as her life will get. Her kids are grown and out of the house. Her and her husband live in separate sides of the house. She doesn't feel like she has a purpose any more. She searches the medicine cabinet, finds an old bottle of pills, grabs a glass of wine and doesn't think twice before swallowing all of the pills with the wine.
It is the teenage girl, a twin sister to her other half. She is in junior highschool and always thinks she is never as good as she could be or as good as she should be. She feels she has a lot to live up to with her sister. She thinks in her mind though, that she never will. She finds rope in the garage and waits until her family leaves for church, staying behind with an excuse of not feeling well. She doesn't think twice before knotting the rope around her neck.
Suicide most often occurs when stressors and health issues converge to create an experience of hopelessness and despair. Depression is the most common condition associated with suicide, and it is often undiagnosed or untreated. (afsp.org)
There are people out there that are more at risk for suicide due to factors like Health; mental health conditions. Environmental; access to firearms & drugs, prolonged stress, & traumatic events. Historical; family history of suicide. (afsp.org)
When my daughter Katie was in high school (she graduated 2016), every year someone that we knew committed suicide. I always asked myself, WHY??
Is this life so bad that you cannot go on anymore? Sadly, I do get it. This life is hard and for the kiddos in our culture today, life is way to overwhelming. Our kids are asked to live up to so much and they live in a state of constant social media that they never have time to catch their breath. They have to worry about; image, acceptance, drugs, alcohol, bullies, school, athletics, sex, love, money. Extreme stress and ineffective coping skills appear to be ingrained in our
culture. Gone are the days of Ward and June Cleaver.
I would always end up thinking, could I have helped? Would I have noticed if things were that bad?
If you have concerns, here are some WARNING SIGNS
TALK
If a person talks about:
BEHAVIOR
Behaviors that may signal risk, especially if related to a painful event, loss, or change:
In honor of this month, I want to touch on one aspect that is associated closely with mental health and that is suicide. I have documented all of the facts as best as I could. I ask if you read this and know someone who is suffering from mental illness and dealing with suicide, please reach out to them. Do not think that someone else is! You could be their lifeline.
Unfortunately, the following story is true. I have left the name out to protect the family.
The summer between my 8th and 9th grade years of school, there was a body found floating in the Mississippi river. It was a boy, and he was my age. He had jumped into the river to end his life.
Why would someone so young who has their whole life ahead of them, ever want to make that decision of finality?
This was big news. The Quad City times ran the article in the paper, front page. The black & white photo was so clear; police cars, ambulance, coroner, and the black bag on the shore, holding the lifeless body of this kid.
I knew him. He sat by me in my history class at Glenview junior high.
I cried. I couldn't help but be sad for this boy.
This heart that once was alive, would never beat again.
Today, suicides are so common in our culture that they no longer make the front page of the paper. They no longer consider it to be news when people take their own lives.
Why is this not news worthy? It is happening everyday.
Please do not lead me to believe that this news is not important or that their lives are not a story.
It should be a story when on average there are 123 suicides per day (afsp.org). The top 3 states in the U.S. for suicide are: Montana, Alaska and Wyoming.
The numbers, as sadly accurate as they are, come with so much more than them becoming another "statistic". It is everything else that is left behind.
So who are the statistics? The percentages......the faces?
It is the young marine who came back from war. He was right out of high school when he enlisted and was thrown right into active duty. He was sent to war before his 19th birthday and saw things that he never could have imagined and would never be able to move past the nightmares and terror. He takes his gun in his hand and does not think twice when he pulls the trigger.
It is the middle aged mom who wakes up every morning, wondering if this is all there is. Is this as good as her life will get. Her kids are grown and out of the house. Her and her husband live in separate sides of the house. She doesn't feel like she has a purpose any more. She searches the medicine cabinet, finds an old bottle of pills, grabs a glass of wine and doesn't think twice before swallowing all of the pills with the wine.
 |
| Sgt. Brandon Ketchum, U.S. Marine Corps Final Rest June 8, 2016 |
Suicide most often occurs when stressors and health issues converge to create an experience of hopelessness and despair. Depression is the most common condition associated with suicide, and it is often undiagnosed or untreated. (afsp.org)
 |
| Foster took his life July 21, 2017 |
When my daughter Katie was in high school (she graduated 2016), every year someone that we knew committed suicide. I always asked myself, WHY??
Is this life so bad that you cannot go on anymore? Sadly, I do get it. This life is hard and for the kiddos in our culture today, life is way to overwhelming. Our kids are asked to live up to so much and they live in a state of constant social media that they never have time to catch their breath. They have to worry about; image, acceptance, drugs, alcohol, bullies, school, athletics, sex, love, money. Extreme stress and ineffective coping skills appear to be ingrained in our
culture. Gone are the days of Ward and June Cleaver.
I would always end up thinking, could I have helped? Would I have noticed if things were that bad?
If you have concerns, here are some WARNING SIGNS
TALK
If a person talks about:
- killing themselves
- Feeling hopeless
- Having no reason to live
- Being a burden to others
- Feeling trapped
- Unbearable pain
BEHAVIOR
Behaviors that may signal risk, especially if related to a painful event, loss, or change:
- Increased use of alcohol or drugs
- Looking for a way to end their lives, such as searching online
- Withdrawing from activities
- Isolating from family and friends
- Sleeping too little or too much
- Visiting or calling people to say goodbye
- Giving away prized possessions
- Agression
- Fatigue
MOOD
People who are considering suicide often display one or more of the following moods:
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Loss of interest
- Irritability
- Humiliation
- Agitation
- Rage
ASSUME YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO WILL REACH OUT
IF YOU'RE CONCERNED ABOUT SOMEONE, TALK IN PRIVATE
Listen to their story, and let them know you care. Ask directly about suicide, calmly and without judgment. Show understanding and take their concerns seriously. Let them know their life matters to you. That one conversation could save a life. (afsp.org)
Foster's Voice- Suicide Awareness. (Facebook site)
Excerpt from Foster's Story on Facebook:
Foster’s handsome, smiling face and sweet persona was hiding deep turmoil, and the tremendous weight of anxiety and depression. Foster was so loved by so many – friends, family, coworkers, customers. He knew how very loved he was, and he loved hard right back. Besides his bright eyes and smile, you’ll also notice that there are literally hundreds of pictures of him hugging a friend or loved one. Despite all of the good that was in Foster’s life and heart, he was overtaken by depression. In the last months of his life, he reached out for help, and fought so hard to overcome it. Foster would have never, ever have wanted to see his friends and family in so much pain, but the truth that we are beginning to understand, is that he simply could not bear his own pain any longer.
There is help out there, PLEASE DO NOT WAIT
Here are some resources:
- Suicide Prevention lifeline #1-800-273-8255 Veterans press 1
- Find a mental health provider @ findtreatment.samhsa.gov or mentalhealthamerica.net/finding-help
- Text TALK to 741741 Text with a trained crisis counselor from the Crisis line for free, 24/7
- www.crisischat.org
- call 911 for emergencies
For further information:
www.afsp.org American Foundation fro Suicide Prevention
www.namigmv.org National Alliance on Metal Illness
NAMI Greater Mississippi Valley (located inside CASI, the center for Active Seniors)
1035 W. Kimberly Rd. Davenport, IA 52806
(563) 386-7477, Ext. 266
* Thank you to the family of Foster for giving me permission to share his story and help get the word out on what you all are accomplishing through his death.
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