Something else will make you happy

Disclaimer: Girl, Wash your face is not mine.  I mean mine in the sense that I did not author any of it but I do own a copy and I do recommend you read it.  It will change you in a way that will be unexpected and I promise, the things that she says, girl, you need to hear! 

I was not sure how I wanted to do this post, because I thought that doing it in a book report format would be boring and that is just not me.  I wouldn’t even know how to do a book report anyway, I thought school was there for socialization and didn’t really care about the entire learning thing.  Don’t worry, I did graduate and eventually somehow found my way to college. 

I decided that as I read her book, I will highlight things that I think are important and then share them with you and give you my take on them.  Plus, let’s face it, if I give away too much, you won’t end up buying your own copy and right now you can order it on Amazon prime for $12.00  and you will have it in hand in 2 days. Or you can instant kindle or audio book it, however you choose to read these days.

https://www.amazon.com/Girl-Wash-Your-Face-Believing-ebook/dp/B072TMB75T/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1536370313&sr=8-1&keywords=girl+wash+your+face

My disclaimer in all of this is that I will always tell you when the words that I have penned are directly from Rachel and her book. I never take credit for anything that is not mine!  

I discovered Rachel Hollis on instagram and instantly connected to her.  She seemed to have the charisma that I once had and I so wanted my sassiness back.  Plus, I secretly hoped that I was related to her.  She does bare my husbands name sake (Hollis), so there is always hope that we are both long lost family.  

Rachel is honest to the core.  She says things out loud that I sometimes never would have the courage to say.  She talks of peeing her pants while jumping on a trampoline with her kids.  Not full on wet but she has pushed out 3 kids and lets face it, any one that has had a kid, let’s just say politely that things are never the same down there again. (I can feel my own chid blushing or rolling her eyes as she is reading this) 

The first 2 things that we are going to cover and that I want you to take away from this blog post (if you don’t take anything away from it though, that’s fine, I won’t be too offended!)  

So………

 #1.  Stop believing the lies about who you are so you can become who you were meant to be 

#2.  Do you ever suspect that everyone else has life figured out and you don’t have a clue?  If so, it is NOT true! Girl, nobody has it together, trust me (Rachel p. )

First things first in this, and it is THE LIE:  It is the lie that something else will make you happy. (Rachel P. 1)  

Sister, let me set you straight.  I am not a perfect wife, not a perfect mother, not a perfect friend or boss, and most defiantly not a perfect christian. NOT. EVEN. CLOSE.  I am not perfect at anything I do-well except for making and eating dishes that are primarily cheese-based-but the other stuff, the life stuff? oh girl, I’m struggling. (Rachel p. 3) 

I have tried for years to have my act together.  Pure & simple perfectionism that I knew I could pull off.  I know, keep laughing.  I could do the wife, mom, daughter, God girl, friend thing, etc. and get it all done and make everything as close to perfection as I could. 

There were many times when Katie was growing up that I thought cleanliness next to Godliness was in the bible. Yes, I am aware that it is not anywhere to be found in there.  In fact, the stories that I have read of Jesus, it never once says that he was concerned because Mary & Martha had not run the vacuum, dusted the knick knacks or laid out a spread of wine and various imported cheese for his arrival.  

Jesus was perfection, but the rest of us will never compare to his perfect life or ever reach perfectionism.  Stop trying. Stop trying to be the do all, catch all, mom, wife or friend of the year.  Don’t misconstrue this for never being there for anyone or throwing the towel altogether, but learn healthy boundaries and keep them! 

The lesson that I had to learn, was that He never expects perfection from anyone! He knows more than anyone that we are NOT perfect and that everyday it is a struggle. 

I am not sure when it came to the point in this world that we had to be the perfect wife, mom, friend, hostess, ie.  

It has been over a year now since I walked through the doors of Heritage church in Bettendorf and God used that vessel to change me from the inside out.  

The girl I used to be cared about so many unimportant details and thought that all of this little stuff in life mattered.  It doesn’t! 

I was a slave to fear and worried about what other people thought of me. 

Looking my best, dressed in all of my best clothes and always having my hair and make up done.  Let me tell you, I was liberated from that bondage and I changed.  Life is not supposed to overwhelm you at all times.  Life isn’t meant to be merely survived-it’s meant to be lived (Rachel p. 4)

This Heather now would rather just be with people and fellowship.  I love to show up to my Tuesday night girls group in my t-shirts, yoga pants and knock off Birks.  I know I can show up how I am in the moment and they will love me no matter what.  I now Live life together with love, laughter and a somewhat messy house.   I mean let’s not get carried away girls, still pick up a dust rag now and then, but if you are thinking twice about inviting people over because your house is dusty, or whatever is your hang up,  it is time to stop, because life is passing us by so quickly and you don’t want to miss some amazing chances & blessings that God has in store for you! 

#2 please don’t think that everyone else you know has their act together! 

There are many times when I meet a good friend for dinner and we talk and laugh about everything.  There is nothing that I won’t tell her because she never judges me and she knows I am the same with her, no judgment!  She works for a large corporation and she is put together, on the surface.  She knows that I love her like a sister, to the core, through and through, but I know that even if she is dressed to hilt in her amazing clothes, carrying her LV bag, I know first hand that she does not have it together.   See, if I spent all of my time thinking that she had it together, I would never hang out with her and I would miss so much of her in my life.  You have to stop thinking and believing that people are perfect.  Many people have big beautiful homes, drive fancy cars, and take amazing vacations to exotic destinations, and these things are all fine, but I can promise you, some of them are empty inside and are messy.  

I end on Rachel’s Things that have helped her.  

1. Stop comparing yourself to others.  Comparison is the death of joy, and the only person you need to be better than is the one you were yesterday.
2. Surround yourself with positivity.  You become what you consume.  Take a good hard look at who and what you see everyday. 
3. Do the things that make YOU happy.  More long walks, less saying yes to things you feel obligated too.  You are in charge of your own life sister, and there’s not one thing in it that you’re not allowing to be there.  Think about it!  (Rachel  p. 8-9)