#MyNOTSoInstaLife

I am 43 and when I look in the mirror I am not sure where the time has gone.  I see freckles, several creases in my forehead and crows feet.  I see years of grief, joy, pain, love and everything in between.  I am sporting my usual home look of unbrushed hair & no make-up.   

Every line, and wrinkle, this is me. #NOFILTER 

Lamar and I plan to go to dinner at our favorite Moline steak house and it’s nice to get dressed up a bit.  We get a last minute table and order our drinks & food.  Planning a dinner out together is no longer our strong suit due to work schedules, but we make it work.  We have lots of things to catch up on but we have many moments of just silence.  Thats ok though.  We have been together for 20 years now and I know his looks and the tones in his voice.  Sometimes silence is what we need. Together at home, we are in our sweats and watching baseball or football. I love our life!  #MARRIEDLIFE

I am trying to live my best life and always be someone that my daughter can go to for whatever she needs.  Katie did not come with a manual and there were so many times that I wish she did.  It was not always easy and I will always be the first to admit that I made plenty of mistakes but being her mom has been the best & toughest job that I have ever had. 

I feel like she has learned from Lamar and I’s examples, mistakes, love and guidance.  I always hope that I did the best I could with her over the past 23 years.   She is independent, a teacher, and living in her own home.  She is tough, fights for what she believes in and has fire in her soul.  #MOMLIFE

If I constantly compared my marriage, my way of parenting, my friendships, my job or my athletic prowess to instagram, I would never be happy with anything that I have or who I am.   

If I don't resemble anything on Instagram, I feel like a failure.   That is the message that is coming across today with the largest, most used social media app. The Instagram app, which is owned by Facebook, launched in October 2010.  As of January 2019, the stories feature is being used by 500 million users daily!  The trends on Instagram change frequently and I still think that the dress was gold and I swore that it was a bird when I looked at it for the first time. 

It also has become a great tool for the small business that are growing
@journeyabovepoverty, @molliemakes, @flow_magazine, @shereadstruth, @lindsayletters.com

I like scrolling through the feed and seeing all of the perfectly filtered pictures but Ive got to understand the reality that I see, isn’t real.  Welcome to the Instagram life of perfection. You cannot compare your life to a filtered photo.  The filter changes everything.  Every time you are scrolling do you get wrapped up in filling your head of thoughts of how perfect everyone else’s lives seem to be while yours leaves a lot to desire.  We have all been there, and deep down we all know that no one’s life is as perfect as they have managed to capture in their posts.  

I have asked myself many times if the perfected photograph really makes a difference to anyone and I have come to the conclusion that yes, it does.   

See, when you have kids that are on instagram and they only see the so called perfection of people’s lives, they start to get the idea in their head that they need to seek out that perfection for their own lives and they have to constantly search because perfection does not or ever will exist.  

My hope is that nobody is offended by any of this post. 
I am certainly not trying to bash anyone's posts, photos or stories, I am not trying to say that what you post is not "real".  I just need you to hear my heart and what the app has the capability of doing.  
In May 2017, a survey conducted by United Kingdom's royal society for public health, people aged 14-24, asking them to rate social media platforms depending on causing anxiety, depression, loneliness, bullying and body image, concluded that Instagram was "worst for young mental health". (BBC news; May 18, 2017)
Social media is taking over every single aspect of our lives and if we are constantly looking to an app full of "unreal" photos, we are going to end up crushing our self esteem, killing our relationships and believing a truth that isn't real! The photos you see may be real, but they are highlights. They are perfectly positioned coffee cup moments in lives that make the entire experience magical.  

This social media icon is great for spreading news to all over the world in mere seconds.  
It is great for growing your business and being the pathway for small business's that need help with advertisement for their websites.  
This is from my point of view and what I see happening in our culture. Nothing else, just me! 
I personally have enough trouble living this life on a daily basis, I certainly do not need an app making suggestions on my marriage, my way of parenting, my friendships, or my athletic prowess.  
I would never be able to be happy with anything in my life. 

Instagram is not the place to look for authenticity.  It’s a place to look for beauty and be inspired.  It is a manufactured fairy tale.  It holds glimpses of reality, but it’s just a beautiful and well crafted comparison game of this life.  

I will hold myself to a standard of GRACE and not PERFECTION 

Recommended reading: 

Book: Grace not Perfection