Somewhere over Somebody Else's Rainbow
When does it all end?
Am I going to be facing another surgery soon?
How can I keep doing this?
These are some of the questions that I ask myself everyday, usually through tears streaming down my cheeks.
For those of you that have been diagnosed with a cancer, a disease, lost someone close to you, have faced some kind of trauma, you go through these stages of grief. It is a fact! Some people go through them slowly, some quickly, and nobody ever faces them in the same order, but everyone goes through them. The steps are:
1. Shock & Denial
2. Pain & Guilt
3. Anger & Bargaining
4. Depression, Reflection & Loneliness
5. The Upward Turn
6. Reconstruction & Working Through
7. Acceptance & Hope
I am stuck in the stage of depression!!! I'm being honest, baring my heart because that's who I am, that's all I know how to be and I am hoping that in my transparency, that it helps somehow in this daunting process.
I am not speaking about this for sympathy. Anyone who knows me, knows that I don't live off of other people giving me sympathy. I never want anyone to feel sorry for me for what I am going through, because it is just something that I am facing and I know that my faith is stronger than I ever could be!
I cry about everything. I could list everything that I have shed tears for in the past few weeks, but it would be a huge list and I am sure that it would cause a lot of laughter too.
I have been more open about what I have been going through because I have come to accept that its ok. We live in a different time, a time of acceptance. Our older generations grew up thinking that depression was something that nobody talked about. It was considered a mental disease that people would hide.
I want people to know(who are facing this), that it is ok! I started to write this post over 2 weeks ago and kept getting stuck. I would pray over this post and every time, God would just say "wait". I was blocked and it was driving me crazy.
I found the ending to this post when I went to church this last weekend. I got it from an unexpected source, my sweet Pastor, Rob.
Every weekend at church, we get an outline in our bulletin. I use it all of the time because I love to take notes-that's just who I am! I am going to let you in on my notes that I took from this sermon and from the sermon itself.
You can also listen to the sermon on-line, which is fabulous! http://harvestdavenport.org/resources/sermons/
The following was written by King David after he had fled for his life from Saul and he was taking refuge in a cave, talk about depressing, right!
"With my voice I cry out to the Lord, with my voice I plead for mercy to the Lord. I pour out my complaint before him, I tell my trouble before him. When my spirit faints within me, you know my way! In the path where I walk they have hidden a trap for me. Look to the right and see: there is none who takes notice of me, no refuge remains to me. No one cares for my soul.
I cry to you, O Lord, I say "You are my refuge. my portion in the land of the living." Attend to my cry, for I am brought very low! Deliver me from my persecutors, for they are too strong for me!
Bring me out of prison, that I may give thanks to your name! The righteous will surround me, for you will deal bountifully with me." Psalm 142
1. Cry out to God, and say it like it is
You know this is not a normal way of living for you. You find yourself in a life of,
not wanting to talk to anyone, binging on things like food, TV, etc.
Whatever the case may be, cry out to the Lord. Plead for mercy, be strait forward with him. God knows already what you are going through, but tell him anyway! Don't act like you can pull yourself out of it. Please take my word for it, you can't!
2. Know that God cares, even if others don't.
When I'm down and out, I question God's care and concern for me.
God knows how we are and how we feel
"Behold, I go forward, but he is not there, and backward, but I do not perceive him; on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him. he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him. But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold." Job 23:8-10
I know that God cares for ME and he will bring ME out!
3. Focus on God, and affirm what is true
David, in the depths of his soul, cries out and says "I choose you"
Many times when we battle depression, we focus and turn to anything but God. I am so guilty of this!! But, we need to turn to God first, not last.
Here are some ideas: Journal, blog, Sing, Talk to yourself, or vent to your BFF, whatever makes you feel better!
4. Ask God for help and trust his provisions
Ask him for help when you are down and out. God will continue to deliver you. Remember that he will help you through it.
During this time, surround yourself with Godly people.
Martin Luther struggled greatly with depression, but he has a help mate in his wife. she helped him get out of it.
Speak to people about what you are feeling. But people need to understand, that what you are going through is not something that you have chosen.
So to the people that are ready to help someone who is going through depression.
Don't shame them, they don't need to think that what they are feeling or going through is wrong, or that they are not normal.
Don't be simplistic, this can be so much more than what you think it is. It is usually not a minor issue, so don't treat them like what they are going through is small or insignificant.
Don't Smother them, just love them.
Be Good Company!
The sermon was perfect and it finished this block in my mind of what I couldn't finish, but only God could. Pastor Rob had written part of that sermon last year and had tucked it away. The timing of it all is Gods and Gods alone!
Please know that God is amazing and his healing powers are far beyond anything you can ever imagine. There are times when people need medication to help out and that is ok! Do not think of yourself as anything but normal and that meds are ok to help out.
Continue fighting!
Love, Heather
How can I keep doing this?
These are some of the questions that I ask myself everyday, usually through tears streaming down my cheeks.
For those of you that have been diagnosed with a cancer, a disease, lost someone close to you, have faced some kind of trauma, you go through these stages of grief. It is a fact! Some people go through them slowly, some quickly, and nobody ever faces them in the same order, but everyone goes through them. The steps are:
1. Shock & Denial
2. Pain & Guilt
3. Anger & Bargaining
4. Depression, Reflection & Loneliness
5. The Upward Turn
6. Reconstruction & Working Through
7. Acceptance & Hope
I am stuck in the stage of depression!!! I'm being honest, baring my heart because that's who I am, that's all I know how to be and I am hoping that in my transparency, that it helps somehow in this daunting process.
I am not speaking about this for sympathy. Anyone who knows me, knows that I don't live off of other people giving me sympathy. I never want anyone to feel sorry for me for what I am going through, because it is just something that I am facing and I know that my faith is stronger than I ever could be!
I cry about everything. I could list everything that I have shed tears for in the past few weeks, but it would be a huge list and I am sure that it would cause a lot of laughter too.
I have been more open about what I have been going through because I have come to accept that its ok. We live in a different time, a time of acceptance. Our older generations grew up thinking that depression was something that nobody talked about. It was considered a mental disease that people would hide.
I want people to know(who are facing this), that it is ok! I started to write this post over 2 weeks ago and kept getting stuck. I would pray over this post and every time, God would just say "wait". I was blocked and it was driving me crazy.
I found the ending to this post when I went to church this last weekend. I got it from an unexpected source, my sweet Pastor, Rob.
You can also listen to the sermon on-line, which is fabulous! http://harvestdavenport.org/resources/sermons/
The following was written by King David after he had fled for his life from Saul and he was taking refuge in a cave, talk about depressing, right!
"With my voice I cry out to the Lord, with my voice I plead for mercy to the Lord. I pour out my complaint before him, I tell my trouble before him. When my spirit faints within me, you know my way! In the path where I walk they have hidden a trap for me. Look to the right and see: there is none who takes notice of me, no refuge remains to me. No one cares for my soul.
I cry to you, O Lord, I say "You are my refuge. my portion in the land of the living." Attend to my cry, for I am brought very low! Deliver me from my persecutors, for they are too strong for me!
Bring me out of prison, that I may give thanks to your name! The righteous will surround me, for you will deal bountifully with me." Psalm 142
1. Cry out to God, and say it like it is
You know this is not a normal way of living for you. You find yourself in a life of,
not wanting to talk to anyone, binging on things like food, TV, etc.
Whatever the case may be, cry out to the Lord. Plead for mercy, be strait forward with him. God knows already what you are going through, but tell him anyway! Don't act like you can pull yourself out of it. Please take my word for it, you can't!
2. Know that God cares, even if others don't.
When I'm down and out, I question God's care and concern for me.
God knows how we are and how we feel
"Behold, I go forward, but he is not there, and backward, but I do not perceive him; on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him. he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him. But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold." Job 23:8-10
I know that God cares for ME and he will bring ME out!
3. Focus on God, and affirm what is true
David, in the depths of his soul, cries out and says "I choose you"
Many times when we battle depression, we focus and turn to anything but God. I am so guilty of this!! But, we need to turn to God first, not last.
Here are some ideas: Journal, blog, Sing, Talk to yourself, or vent to your BFF, whatever makes you feel better!
4. Ask God for help and trust his provisions
Ask him for help when you are down and out. God will continue to deliver you. Remember that he will help you through it.
During this time, surround yourself with Godly people.
Martin Luther struggled greatly with depression, but he has a help mate in his wife. she helped him get out of it.
Speak to people about what you are feeling. But people need to understand, that what you are going through is not something that you have chosen.
So to the people that are ready to help someone who is going through depression.
Don't shame them, they don't need to think that what they are feeling or going through is wrong, or that they are not normal.
Don't be simplistic, this can be so much more than what you think it is. It is usually not a minor issue, so don't treat them like what they are going through is small or insignificant.
Don't Smother them, just love them.
Be Good Company!
The sermon was perfect and it finished this block in my mind of what I couldn't finish, but only God could. Pastor Rob had written part of that sermon last year and had tucked it away. The timing of it all is Gods and Gods alone!
Please know that God is amazing and his healing powers are far beyond anything you can ever imagine. There are times when people need medication to help out and that is ok! Do not think of yourself as anything but normal and that meds are ok to help out.
Continue fighting!
Love, Heather
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