The Long & Winding NEVER Ending Road

My tears flow freely once more, as the news of my biopsy results ring in my ears. This silly cancer seems to want to be a constant in my life. It is not my friend by any means, but it has become a companion that I just cannot seem to shake. I have two new spots which this time reside on my left bum cheek. Sorry, TMI, but its the harsh reality and points to the tanning bed as being the cause of this mess. You can laugh, because it is somewhat entertaining.
Over a week ago, I went back to the dermatologist. This was just my second visit with him. I was scheduled for 3 biopsies and freezing off of about 15 moles, or beauty marks as I call them. The freezing of the moles was not a pleasant experience at all, and I would never recommend this to my friends. #beestings #Red #Burning #unpleasant
My sweet mom was there, God love her!! I did however hold the nurses hand during the procedure, shhh, don't tell anyone.
The dermas office is slow. Not like the I run 15 minutes behind slow, but turtle walking, I have been waiting so long that my iPhone is out of date slow. It can get so frustrating. I guess it was nice that when they called to remind me of my appointment that they told me they run late so since my appointment was at 1:00pm, come around 1:15 and I won't have to wait as long-nice, huh!
Mom and I got there (Katie was at the museum with Maggie so she was spared from having to see my business. I am fairly certain that I am going to have to spend money on therapy for her soon)
We went back to the room and the nurse came in. She explained to me that they would be doing the biopsies and the freezing of moles on my face and my back, so I would need to undress. She then asked if I wanted a gown?!
Um, well, I am going to go with yes. I am not too sure if I would be comfortable sitting on the table, in the room, with my mom, waiting for the doctor, naked. Please tell me that I am not alone here!?

The waiting is ALWAYS hard. I would be lying to you if I said otherwise. The dermatologist told me that they would call or send me a letter with the results, wow, a letter, that is so nice.
The doctor's office called, they didn't email or text me that I have cancer. The nurse said that the first spot is pre-cancerous and the second one is Melanoma. I am set to see the surgeon, Dr. Searles, on Thursday the 7th. yikes, that's tomorrow already.
The emotions are raw, but a little different from when I was first diagnosed.
I am feeling caught in this melanoma bubble that is never going to pop.
I know that God is never going to give me anything more than I can handle. His grace is amazing and I am thankful that it continues through me everyday. There are times when I am discouraged and I don't want to fight anymore, but then I hear this voice inside of me and it tells me to go on and I once again silently obey.
Tomorrow is a new day and my journey down this long and winding road continues.

You call me out upon the waters
the great unknown where my feet may fail
and there you are in the mystery
in the oceans deep, my faith will stand
and I will call upon your name
and keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in your embrace
For I am yours and you are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand will be my guide
where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and you won't start now
So I will call upon your name
and keep my eyes above the waves
when oceans rise
my soul will rest in your embrace
For I am yours and you are mine
spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever you would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
and my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my savior
I will call upon your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in your embrace
I am yours and you are mine

FYI, I am looking for a new dermatologist