Parenting A Teenager Survival Guide
Place an offer to teach a class on How to raise a teenager and I would guarantee that you would sell out the class. parents are always buying books to assist them in honing their parenting skills. I myself have been found loitering in the supermarket line trying to read articles on better parenting or How to not stroke out while raising a teenager. I never knew what being a parent was going to be like. Before I got pregnant, I thought "How hard can this be?" boy was I wrong.
December 30, 1997, at 10:45 in the morning, I took that job and have been on call 24/7 ever since! It has been the toughest but most rewarding thing that I have ever done in this life.
I am a nurse, a chef, a counselor, a bank, a taxi driver, a beautician(yes, they will cut their own hair) and anything else I need to be for her.
The first of her life with the baby years were simply so sweet. She learned to jabber, clap, crawl and smile. She could light up a room and was a great baby.
The toddler years were an adventure where she learned to talk, walk and well, I guess, run was more like it and she got into everything that she could. If she could not reach it, she would find some inventive way to climb up to her destination. We had to call poison control when She once climbed up on my dresser and got a sample bottle of perfume and drank it. She lived, oh please, don't judge me. Those were the years when we didnt eat out that much at restaurants because of her abundance of energy. I know, you may be saying, take them to the restaurant and teach them how they should act in public. Well, Dr. Phil followers, you are somewhat right, but lets face it, there are many times when you just dont care and you feel its okay to let them run amok. Oh, and Note to self: The sound of silence is a good indication that your child is cutting up, ripping up, drawing on, destroying or eating something they are so not supposed to be.
The elementary years were great. She met friends and learned how to get along in life as a child and pre-teen. (For the most part anyway)
The trouble started to come when she entered into junior high and became a teenager. Entering junior high was like Godzilla invading Tokyo. Someone should have told me that it was a battle and you were like a soldier in the middle of war. You were safer hiding in the trenches as to not get caught in the middle of not so friendly fire....To be totally honest, I was not sure which one of us was going to come out alive.
If I had a How To book on raising a teenager, I would have read it from cover to cover.
Lets face it, You do not need a college degree to parent but you do need to know a few pointers if you want to make it out alive.
1. Always be prepared
When you come across a bear with its teeth showing and it's making angry growling sounds, and it shows its claws, don't be scared. Dealing with a hormonal teenage girl is similar. When they come at you, Do not act scared, they can smell fear. Trust me that The fastest mom on earth cannot out run them. You need to stand your ground and avoid eye contact. Don't scream at them and speak in soft, even tones as to not set them off. A teenage girl is very unpredictable and they will not think twice about taking you down.
2. Guide them in every direction because they only know the way to the mall
As much as they think that they dont need to be guided in this life, they do. They are teenage girls and they are in the middle of every emotion known to man.
The thoughts that they are consumed with are friends, fashion, and what they look like. (most girls anyway). They do not have time to put together any rational thoughts. Poor choices are at a very high percentage during these early teen years. Example of poor judgement: Taking your report card that shows you have an F in math and changing the grade to an A, then thinking that your parents won't notice, because they will. (FYI: That was not katie, that was me & Erin). OR making shakes in the brand new blender and stuffing it with Oreo cookies, and grinding them until the motor blows up. Then, trying to wash it in the sink. They (Katie & Becca) seriously washed the entire blender, motor and all. Um, who knew that if you put the entire thing in a sink full of water that it would not work anymore. (yes, total poor judgement)
3. Communication is Key
Popular forms of teenage communication are: the eye rolling, sighs, and texting. They are not big on verbal communication with you anymore but give them a cell phone and they can chat with someone for hours on end.
When you speak to them, be prepared for faces that make you look dumb. never under any circumstances ask them, Why did you do that? Or, What were you thinking? Trust me, you never want the answers to those questions because sarcasm runs through their blood.
It is very important during these years that you talk with your children and you teach them how to talk to others (no matter how dreadful they think it is.) The choices that they make are not always the smartest, so talk with them about who their friends are, where they are going and what they are doing. Because, yes, it is your business!!!
4. Patience is a MUST
It is not easy to deal with a girl who thinks that you are uncool, wrong about everything or a kill joy to everything and everyone that they encounter.
You must remain patient throughout this entire process, but it is far from easy. I can say first hand that I have lost it many, many times with katie but have been pretty quick to apologize most times.....when she deserved it. Patience are not just needed when they are coming at you in a hostile way or they find it important to wake you up at 1:00am to ask you if its ok if she buys a song on i-tunes. Yes, I am glad that she asked before she bought it, but really, 1:00 am? Mom likes her sleep!
As much as you prepare for this time, you are never prepared to be a parent of a teenager! The good news though is that these years don't last forever.
Raising a teenager is a very emotional, educational experience. I still have 2 years left on this teenage rollar coaster, but everyday I thank God for letting me on this crazy ride!
Everyday I wear many different hats in my life, but being a parent is one of my most favorite ones, well, most days anyway. I have heard people say that being a parent is the hardest, most rewarding, unpaid job in the world and they are so right!!
I am a nurse, a chef, a counselor, a bank, a taxi driver, a beautician(yes, they will cut their own hair) and anything else I need to be for her.
The first of her life with the baby years were simply so sweet. She learned to jabber, clap, crawl and smile. She could light up a room and was a great baby.
The elementary years were great. She met friends and learned how to get along in life as a child and pre-teen. (For the most part anyway)
The trouble started to come when she entered into junior high and became a teenager. Entering junior high was like Godzilla invading Tokyo. Someone should have told me that it was a battle and you were like a soldier in the middle of war. You were safer hiding in the trenches as to not get caught in the middle of not so friendly fire....To be totally honest, I was not sure which one of us was going to come out alive. Lets face it, You do not need a college degree to parent but you do need to know a few pointers if you want to make it out alive.
1. Always be prepared
When you come across a bear with its teeth showing and it's making angry growling sounds, and it shows its claws, don't be scared. Dealing with a hormonal teenage girl is similar. When they come at you, Do not act scared, they can smell fear. Trust me that The fastest mom on earth cannot out run them. You need to stand your ground and avoid eye contact. Don't scream at them and speak in soft, even tones as to not set them off. A teenage girl is very unpredictable and they will not think twice about taking you down.
2. Guide them in every direction because they only know the way to the mall
As much as they think that they dont need to be guided in this life, they do. They are teenage girls and they are in the middle of every emotion known to man.
The thoughts that they are consumed with are friends, fashion, and what they look like. (most girls anyway). They do not have time to put together any rational thoughts. Poor choices are at a very high percentage during these early teen years. Example of poor judgement: Taking your report card that shows you have an F in math and changing the grade to an A, then thinking that your parents won't notice, because they will. (FYI: That was not katie, that was me & Erin). OR making shakes in the brand new blender and stuffing it with Oreo cookies, and grinding them until the motor blows up. Then, trying to wash it in the sink. They (Katie & Becca) seriously washed the entire blender, motor and all. Um, who knew that if you put the entire thing in a sink full of water that it would not work anymore. (yes, total poor judgement)
3. Communication is Key
Popular forms of teenage communication are: the eye rolling, sighs, and texting. They are not big on verbal communication with you anymore but give them a cell phone and they can chat with someone for hours on end.
When you speak to them, be prepared for faces that make you look dumb. never under any circumstances ask them, Why did you do that? Or, What were you thinking? Trust me, you never want the answers to those questions because sarcasm runs through their blood.
It is very important during these years that you talk with your children and you teach them how to talk to others (no matter how dreadful they think it is.) The choices that they make are not always the smartest, so talk with them about who their friends are, where they are going and what they are doing. Because, yes, it is your business!!!
4. Patience is a MUST
It is not easy to deal with a girl who thinks that you are uncool, wrong about everything or a kill joy to everything and everyone that they encounter.
You must remain patient throughout this entire process, but it is far from easy. I can say first hand that I have lost it many, many times with katie but have been pretty quick to apologize most times.....when she deserved it. Patience are not just needed when they are coming at you in a hostile way or they find it important to wake you up at 1:00am to ask you if its ok if she buys a song on i-tunes. Yes, I am glad that she asked before she bought it, but really, 1:00 am? Mom likes her sleep!
As much as you prepare for this time, you are never prepared to be a parent of a teenager! The good news though is that these years don't last forever.
Raising a teenager is a very emotional, educational experience. I still have 2 years left on this teenage rollar coaster, but everyday I thank God for letting me on this crazy ride!
I am not your friend, I am your parent
I will stalk you, Flip out on you, lecture you,
drive you insane. Be your worst nightmare & hunt you
down whenever needed
Because I love you and I am your mama!
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